Joke of the day

Karnac

Member
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."
 

Maggie

Member
Give me a Sentence with:

According to Merriam-Webster these are the top 10 favorite words from people in their survey.

2004 Top Ten Favorite Words:

defenestration
serendipity
onomatopoeia
discombobulate
plethora
callipygian
juxtapose
persnickety
kerfuffle
flibbertigibbet

Everyone uses at least one a day, right? :lol:
 

Brad

Member
no problem ....

Without Serendipity one could Discombobulate when Juxtaposing a Plethora of Onomatopeiatics if a Persnickety Flibbertigibbet with Callipygian attributes Kerfuffles and Defenestrates.


now say that 10 times fast .... :dizzy:
 

Maggie

Member
I am impressed!! I'm going to give you a star for that...;)

and you are related to Mr.Webster, how? :)
 
Last edited:

Brad

Member
Did it make sense?


serendipity - Pure luck in discovering things not looked for
discombobulate - Cause to be confused emotionally
juxtapose - Place side by side
plethora - Extreme excess
onomatopoeia - Forming of words in imitation of a natural sound
persnickety - Being overly conceited or arrogant, characterized by excessive precision and attention to trivial details
flibbertigibbet - A female fool
callipygian - Pertaining to or having finely developed buttocks, shapely
kerfuffle - A disorderly outburst or tumult
defenestration - The act of throwing someone or something out of a window


Without Serendipity one could Discombobulate when Juxtaposing a Plethora of Onomatopeiatics if a Persnickety Flibbertigibbet with Callipygian attributes Kerfuffles and Defenestrates.

can be rephrased:

Without dumb luck one could get unglued when line spewing a sh*t load of cat calls if a snooty blonde with a nice a$$ goes out of control and throws herself out of a window (gotta read between the lines a bit here … the dumb luck part is an open basement window … whew).
 

peter

Member
Re: What if Maggie was really responding to Karnac's Post??

Brad said:
Maybe she was, after all her daughter is getting married.
Some how tho, I never thought of Maggie as a cougar.:lol: :wavey:
 

Brad

Member
Like to go swimmin with bowlegged wimmin?

Three women were breaststroke racing across the English channel. The first one swam in record time, the second just a few minutes behind. When the third finally arrived she was totally exhausted. After a while of recovery from the arduous race the last to finish was asked to comment:

"Well, ..." the blonde swimmer said a looking a bit miffed,

" ... honestly, in my opinion, the other two musta been using their arms!"


now was that silly or silicone?! ...:clown:
 

Teufellj

Member
In My Younger Days...

In my younger days...about two hills back... I was a preacherman....I balanced myself on a city water hydrant...(that's a h2o valve) and with hose in hand, helped all of the little flowers to beautify our fair city and...allowed our sinners to repent or smell a draft of aeromatic bliss! With straight face I baptized many a dog too! OUCH! :lol:

Teufellj...
 

Brad

Member
Speaking of H2O I also heard it put recently as HijklmnO (H to O) ... guess I don't get out enough cuz that's a new one to me :D
 

Karnac

Member
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they
stopped at was the breeding bulls.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that
said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged
her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that
said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. "The wife gave her
husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week!
You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached
that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times
last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke
her husband's ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY
learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it
was with the same cow."

NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical
to stable and ! he should eventually make a full recovery.
:lol:
 

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