Stories that can be told in Church

[Sheba]

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressedin white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

Sheba..

 

[Sheba]

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't
let me be late!" While she was running and praying,she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray,

"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

Sheba..

 

[Sheba]

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."


The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"


Sheba..

 

[Sheba]

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married,
she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.

Sheba..

 

[Sheba]

A police recruit was asked during the exam,

"What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He said, "Call for backup."



Sheba..

 

[Sheba]

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."


Sheba..

 

[LT]

Those are some real good ones Sheba

 

[mon]

 

[Florie]

Notice the time I am posting this. Good ones, short but good !Sheba. Heh! Heh! Heh!

 

[Brad]

Funny stuff Sheba

This is not a church joke ... but should still be safe to tell, I think



A sarcastic teacher asked his class, "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" After a long silence, one boy rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."