one for you beer lovers......

Rebeckah

Member
I thought these were too great not to share here. :) enjoy! :chug:

CHICKENSOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER

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"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

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BEER: HELPING UGLYPEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"

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Remember "I"before "E", except in Budweiser.

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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliffwas explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see,Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.."
:chug: :beer: :chug:
 

CDEX

Member
Good stuff -- makes one thirsty just to read it. There's also the beer drinking song:

"In Heaven there is no beer,
That's why we drink it here,
And when we're gone from here,
Our friends will be drinking all the beer."
 

daleks

Member
...shame,rebeckah,you missed my favourite.....

..........." i'd rather be a liver than have one"........Dean Martin

:beer: ...when the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie.......



............and then, the Golddiggers came out,........:dancer: :lphant: :lphant:
 

Irvin

Member
peter said:
If only it did'nt make you pee so much.:( :D

If you have a bladder that leaks like anything then dont visit a student bladder buster session.

One of the best ways to get cheap booze.....but can prove painful for the person who burst their bladder first......Students normally kick the crap out of them.....double dose of punishment.
 

system13

Member
Beer is second to none when it comes to prevention of kidney stones, so its better to drink (and pee) as much as one can stand, than not to drink it and eventually pee rocks.:D

I've learned that in a hard way,though :heul:

Cheers
:chug:
 

peter

Member
My favorite beer commercial is the heineken beer, where the guy and girl grab for the last bottle of heineken from the fridge, and the guy gets it first, and the girl thinks he should give it to her.... well you know the rest of the story.
 

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