May Joke

Sheba

Member
How to Buy a Porsche


A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!"

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents. We know what a Porsche costs."

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."

So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "I don't know her
name-they just moved in.

She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars ."

"Oh my Goodness," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up
there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she
did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back.

He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. .........So I did."

(Are women good or what?)
 

Rob50

Member
Yeah, sure it sounds like a joke, but the question is: "Can a man, who own a porsche (supposedly not stupid), ask his old bag to sell the porsche and send him the money after running off to Hawai"?

And you are right, Sheba, with husbands like that, the women will be always good.:agree:
 

Maggie

Member
Yankee Couple

A Yankee couple was driving their RV across Florida and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME.

They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town. Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:

"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."

The waitress looked at him and said:

"Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."
 

Sheba

Member
A man boarded a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to, of all people a beautiful blonde.

The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Sheba..:lol:
 

Sheba

Member
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know
that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get
married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing,
Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you
two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "
In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there
nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge
grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get
a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance..
Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so
much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up
with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you
have got everything all figured out. I just have one more
question for you.

What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of
your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."

Mr. Smith doesn't think the little **** is adorable anymore.

Sheba__:bouncy: :dog:~~~®™
 

Brad

Member
Holy Moly!!

Now you did it Sheba!! My older daughter is 10 yrs old (and yes, she's a blonde, hahaha) so reading your 'joke' makes me seriously think of buying a shotgun!! :uzi: ... thanks a lot!! :unhappy:


Funny when it's only a joke though ... :D ... but they do grow up fast, don't they ... yikes!
 

Maggie

Member
Dearly Departed .....

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday
morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My
husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me,
did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father..."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn
gun...'"
 

mirage

Member
Huge hangover

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he
> can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes
> and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins
> next to a glass of water on the side table. And
> next to them, a single red rose!
>
> Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him
> all clean and pressed
>
> Jack looks around the room and sees that it is
> in perfect order,Spotlessly clean. So is the rest
> of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when
> he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in
> the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table:
> "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to
> go shopping--Love you!"
>
> He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough,
> there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
> His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks,
> "Son...what happened last night?"
> "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and
> out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked
> in the hallway, and got that black eye when you
> ran into the door."
> "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean,
> I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
>
> His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you
> to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your
> pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady,
> I'm married!"
>
>
> Broken furniture - $85.26
> Hot Breakfast - $4.20
> Red Rose bud -$3.00
> Two Aspirins -$0.38
> Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless
>
 

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