Christmas Jokes

Sheba

Member
In the spirit of Christmas


When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness
the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into
the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the
broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to
the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?" And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.



Sheba..
 

Brad

Member
Barbie's Christmas Beau

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."
 

colonel4

Member
In a little old village, there was a nativity scene that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. However, one small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totaly unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At home I went on line and asked Dennis B. about the helmets. DB exploded in a rage, yelling at me, "You damn country boys never read the Bible." I assured DB that I did, but could not recall anything about firemen in the Bible. DB jerked his Bible out and finally jabbed his finger at a passage. Pointing it out on web cam, DB said, "See, it says right here. The three wise men came from afar."
 

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