Blondes Only

[Beaker]

Eight very happy blondes walked into the neighborhood bar cheering 51 days", 51 days!" and giving each other high fives. One of them called out to the bartender, "Whew, we are celebrating 51 days - > give us a round of beer." > They laughed and cheered and drank with the conversation being peppered with comments about 51 days. Every once in a while one of them would call for another round of beer to celebrate 51 days. As much as the bartender tried to piece together the importance of 51 days, he could not. Finally, as he brought these eight happy blondes their eighth round of beers he could not hold his curiosity any longer. He said, "What's this big deal about 51 days that has you pretty things out celebrating tonight?" > One of the blondes turned to him and said, "Well, we got one of those jigsaw puzzles that said 2 to 4 years on the side of the box, and we were able to finish it in only 51 days."


from a blonde friend

 

[Maggie]

One blond...

There are two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, they inherit the family ranch. After just a few years, they are in
financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the
ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in
a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only
have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if
I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out
after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and
decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he
will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking she says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable."
The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to
know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and
drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's very big and she’ll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bul.

 

[Florie]

Enjoyed that one, Maggie. I love good "blonde" jokes.

Good one, too Beaker.

 

[Sheba]

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he
said. "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes, "the blonde replied and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."



We may have had this one before but it is still a laugh..